Either it’s really been two years or I actually have invented a time machine

Okay. There’s no point in trying to be humble and whatever. I’m just going to come out and say it. If there was such a thing as the Procrastinator Olympics, I would win hands down. I mean, who else could put off writing a blog post for a near two years? (I would quickly like to point out that, as I’m writing this on the WordPress blog platform, both “WordPress” and “blog” have a little red squiggly line underneath them and I find that ironic enough to point out. These are valuable behind the scenes moments, people.)

Since my last post on 22 August 2012 my life has certainly been busy. Not so much outrageously exciting but some highlights from the past two years are:

  • I’ve finally mustered enough confidence to promote myself as a singer and  I am now a rather prominent member of the vocal performance community at my school. At the last concert, my Maths teacher told me that I “come alive on stage” which, I suppose, compared to my aliveness while sitting behind a desk, staring at a pack of Trigonometry notes isn’t exactly hard to do but I’ll be damned if I said I didn’t feel alive on stage. Which I do. I really do. And I regret not finding my confidence sooner in my high school career. But I’m having fun now and that’s what counts, right? I don’t really know what happened between now and two years ago but I think it had something to do with the fact that at some point I realised that peer pressure really is an unnecessary part of one’s life and I don’t care much for it. (My advice to anyone in a similar position to mine from two years ago is to, quite honestly, ignore anyone who tries to laugh at you, tease you, degrade you or downright bully you for being you because trying to please them just is not going to happen and it’s a waste of time. And don’t be afraid of potentially being laughed at, teased, degraded etc. either because you’re wasting a whole lot of “coming alive on stage” time being afraid.)
  • I went to Greece and totally got tanned! (and terribly, horribly sunburned but that’s not unusual). I also saw some of the most beautiful ancient structures– including but not limited to: the Acropolis (which was so much bigger and more majestic than I thought it would be) and the Amphitheatre at Delphi (the view from which took my breath away. Then, my breath was literally taken away when I ran down the hundreds of steps for a reason that I won’t explain (you know, to keep it mysterious and make you think I’d do such a thing for a valid reason like fitness or something).
  • Oh! Well, I reached my final year of high school. I actually finished my last first school term yesterday. It only took writing 3 500- word essays and a handful of 3-hour exams to get here. But I did it, didn’t I? Let me tell you, two-years-ago me did not have enough faith in herself to think she could accomplish things like 3 500- words essays. If I could travel in time I would definitely go back to her and, putting my hand on her shoulder, say, “Oh ye of little faith.” I would then proceed to tell her the next two years’ worth of winning lottery numbers. You know, because why on Earth not?
  • I also got to dress up all pretty and Victorian princess- like for our Matric Dance which was one of the best experiences of my entire life. Ah, it was so so SO much fun. I’m waiting on a royal wedding invitation from the 19th century so I can wear that dress again. I seriously need to invest in this time travel idea. It could solve so many problems.

Whoa. I think that’s enough nostalgia for one post.

Actually, no.

In my last post from 22 August 2012 I promised that I would tell some stories from my trip to Europe. There are several. I might have to dot them in every now and again over a course of, let’s say, two years? But for now I’ll share this gem:

I single-handedly caused a traffic jam in Amsterdam. That totally rhymed. Anyway. When we arrived in Amsterdam, we had only an hour in which we could hire and ride bicycles because we arrived at our hotel in the early evening and the bicycle-renting shops happened to close, most inconveniently, at some time around early evening. So a small group of us went in search of one of these inconveniently closing shops and rented the required number of bicycles to satisfy the person-to-bike ratio. (We hired them for thirty minutes for the price of hiring them for three hours but that’s besides the point.) Those thirty minutes were definitely worth it. We rode around in Vondelpark and along the streets which had specially constructed bicycle lanes! With bike traffic lights and everything! This was outrageously cool in my opinion however the coolness was more than slightly dampened by the fact that these lanes were lined with waist-high, spear-topped fences which could potentially impale an innocent bicycler who had been in such a rush to hire a bicycle in Amsterdam that she had hired a bike that was too big for her and so every time she stopped for a traffic light on those busy busy streets, she would see her life flash before her eyes as she wobbled off her bicycle and onto said fence. This happened. To me, in case you didn’t get that. I injured myself on a spear-tipped fence after falling off a bicycle in the middle of the street at rush hour in Amsterdam. When the traffic light turned green I somewhat freaked out because I could not get back onto my overpriced mode of transportation without help. We were also rushing to get back to the inconveniently closing shop in time because if we didn’t get there in, like, seven minutes, we would have to pay extra for having the bikes after trading hours. A lady dressed in a black, smart, too-tight-to-be bicycle-riding-appropriate pencil skirt started loudly encouraging me to move out the way. Her encouragements, I’m sure, were peppered with a colourful array of Dutch swear words. This did not help. It took me until the next green traffic light to remount the oversized, two-wheeled vehicle which provided plenty of time for half of Amsterdam’s smartly dressed working population to pile up behind me and start encouraging me loudly. It was thoroughly embarrassing.

I haven’t ridden a bicycle since which should give a good indication of the level of trauma I went through.

That was the last day of Europe Tour. So many more exciting things happened over those two weeks. I felt like a travelling celebrity (the group of 50 South African teenage girls running for the number 32 bus at 10pm in Milan certainly turned the same number of heads as a celebrity would have.)

Salzburg was my favourite city (although, to save myself from engaging in a half-understandable argument, I had to tell all my Italian cousins that Venice was my favourite). I have the most spectacular memories from there. From gardens filled with artistic fountains of trickery to seeing a crowd of people walking around in evening gowns at 5pm on their way to a showing of an Opera in the central square– it was all incredible.

Hey! Maybe I should just wear my Victorian dress to an Opera in the square in Salzburg. Inventing Time Machine is too much  effort anyway. I’d rather write another 3 500-word essay. Of course then I’ll never get to see what crazy train Freddie Mercury was on when he wrote the fantastic song ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’… but oh well.


“Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isn’t what it used to be?”  ~ Jasper Fforde.